Unbelievable

When I got back from Portland on the morning of the 23rd, I'd had about 2 cumulative hours of sleep, an early flight, and a week of too much good food which made me more tired than I would have been already. The reason I'd had to come back that particular day at that particular time was to take the Emergency Medical Technician National Registry Exam; I'd chosen the earliest flight so that I'd have time for a short nap and a few hours of studying (meaning, the only studying I'd actually budgeted time for). Well, I was delerious with fatigue when I got home, and late getting down for the planned nap. And then the alarm didn't go off. And then I couldn't find my confirmation letter. And then I got lost getting there as I didn't bother to read the directions thoroughly, and went to wrong buildings three times before getting frustrated enough to look it up. Which left me, oh, about 30 minutes to cram. And I failed all the practice questions I attempted. Once the exam started I began hoping the adrenaline of the moment would wake me up, sharpen my focus, and somehow magically provide the missing information to my very much deprived brain. By mid test, I knew I was doomed; I needed a 75% to pass, and I had at least 35% of the questions as "uncertain" on my scratch sheet. I was falling alseep anytime I wasn't frantically writing trying to work out answers. The test itself is poorly written, with many questions containing multiple correct answers, some questions on topics above the EMT-Basic level, and several with no truely correct answer at all -- but that was no excuse for my ill-preparedness and lack of sleep. So I conceeded, and plodded through the rest of the exam, knowing full well that it was pointless but wanting to at least finish and get an idea of what I would need to review for the next time I took it, last chance being on October 21st as my England-bound flight was already scheduled for the 26th. I left the exam room knowing full well that I had failed, and was of course told by classmates and friends "Oh no you didn't, you always say that, you did just fine" which was nice but misguided as no one could possibly fathom how much I DIDN'T study. I recognized that I really hadn't applied myself to the task at hand, and that I needed to more serious in my approach to my second, and final, attempt, to that end making sure revision manuals didn't get packed for storage and blocking out hours this week around moving-business to properly study, to rightfully earn completion of the EMT 'circle' and add another tool to my off-to-England belt.

I just checked the National Registry Website.

I passed.