Mind Your Pence and Quince

I'm taking a 5 minute tea break from moving insanity, and finalizing my "UK budget vs. nutritional needs" list. The challange: how to be a triathlete-in-training on about 1 pound (~$2) per day for six months, meeting all my requirements for a balanced athlete's diet, with the resources and accoutrements of a series of hostel kitchens. Quite a fun challange, actually. From here. No, in all seriousness I'm looking forward to simplification and streamlining of all sorts; food, posessions, goals, "needs", maybe even... thoughts? Streamlining of MY scattered thoughts? Possible? That's the fun part, I'm about to find out. Anyway, based on knowledge gained from my work with the incredible Clyde Wilson + food availability in England + costs + projected hostel storage/refrigeration space + the goal of a list of no more than 21 items (streamlining of thought-process, remember), this is what my culinary forcast looks like:

First Priority 10:

oats
oat flour
soymilk
tofu
spinach
beans
nut/seed butter
nuts or seeds
high protein cereal
fruit nectar

Second Priority 10 (ie, if 1sts are all in stock and there are pence left on the black side):

molasses
tea
wholegrain bread
broccoli
tomatoes
seitan
brown rice
hummus
dried fruit
apples

And once a month:

A small piece of dark chocolate

Add to that my travel spice kit (aren't film canisters wonderful?) of cinnamon, gharam masala, ginger, italian herbs, pumpkin pie spice, cayenne, pepper and salt -- what more could I want? Fortunately, I like porridge. And I'll be eating it. Probably 3 times a day. Maybe that should be my first book, "1001 Ways to Make Porridge in a Hostel Kitchen on 50 pence a Day"....
It truely makes me so happy to think how beautiful and precious an apple will taste, not to mention the things not on this list. I will miss the gastronomic adventurousness that is my cooking, which is a grounding force in my life, so there's a whole portion of my brain that will be going into hibernation; but when the hibernation is over, or gets to pop its head out into the sun from time to time, cooking will be a profound and sacred delight beyond what I can conceive of now. Practice in motion. I'm excited to be in this time of practical application of my beliefs and principles :)
Tea's done, back to work.

Unbelievable

When I got back from Portland on the morning of the 23rd, I'd had about 2 cumulative hours of sleep, an early flight, and a week of too much good food which made me more tired than I would have been already. The reason I'd had to come back that particular day at that particular time was to take the Emergency Medical Technician National Registry Exam; I'd chosen the earliest flight so that I'd have time for a short nap and a few hours of studying (meaning, the only studying I'd actually budgeted time for). Well, I was delerious with fatigue when I got home, and late getting down for the planned nap. And then the alarm didn't go off. And then I couldn't find my confirmation letter. And then I got lost getting there as I didn't bother to read the directions thoroughly, and went to wrong buildings three times before getting frustrated enough to look it up. Which left me, oh, about 30 minutes to cram. And I failed all the practice questions I attempted. Once the exam started I began hoping the adrenaline of the moment would wake me up, sharpen my focus, and somehow magically provide the missing information to my very much deprived brain. By mid test, I knew I was doomed; I needed a 75% to pass, and I had at least 35% of the questions as "uncertain" on my scratch sheet. I was falling alseep anytime I wasn't frantically writing trying to work out answers. The test itself is poorly written, with many questions containing multiple correct answers, some questions on topics above the EMT-Basic level, and several with no truely correct answer at all -- but that was no excuse for my ill-preparedness and lack of sleep. So I conceeded, and plodded through the rest of the exam, knowing full well that it was pointless but wanting to at least finish and get an idea of what I would need to review for the next time I took it, last chance being on October 21st as my England-bound flight was already scheduled for the 26th. I left the exam room knowing full well that I had failed, and was of course told by classmates and friends "Oh no you didn't, you always say that, you did just fine" which was nice but misguided as no one could possibly fathom how much I DIDN'T study. I recognized that I really hadn't applied myself to the task at hand, and that I needed to more serious in my approach to my second, and final, attempt, to that end making sure revision manuals didn't get packed for storage and blocking out hours this week around moving-business to properly study, to rightfully earn completion of the EMT 'circle' and add another tool to my off-to-England belt.

I just checked the National Registry Website.

I passed.

And One More Thing...

Because I don't have enough to do/think about/accomplish/obsess over, I have just done the deed and manifestly signed up for NaNoWriMo.

Justifications:
1. November is the last month of my off-season as training officially begins December 1st
2. Writing, assuming I can find someone foolish enough to publish me, is something I've put off doing for years and am about to try my hand at... and I need to get my head into manuscription mode
3. If this off-the-deep-end life-adventure I'm tackling is anything for certain, it's good material
4. "NaNoWriMo is all about the magical power of deadlines. Give someone a goal and a goal-minded community and miracles are bound to happen. Pies will be eaten at amazing rates. Alfalfa will be harvested like never before. And novels will be written in a month." I figure this is good karma for the months to come; hopefully the magical power of goals and miracles will extend beyond my novel to my nursing career
5. I'm nuts, but you knew that already.

I will NOT be blogging my progress, just my bellyachings and why-the-hell-am-I-doing-this-es. I expect to change my mind about plot and characters and place-names and astrological convergances and all many many many times over the month of November, so I'll just spare you till it's over and donewith. If anything, you'll have something to read while you're on the treadmill working off Thanksgiving...

Great Swim Set

This morning's set was awesome. I've still yet to put my finger on what makes a good set, or even, what makes a set good; how do you know it isn't just the weather, or the state of your muscles, or what side of the bed you got up on (at 4 in the bloody morning, especially)? But like an efficient stroke, you just feel it. And this one felt spectacular, despite my lack of improvement, so it must have been the set!

w/u:
3x { 200 pull, 100 fly/free by 25's

main:
400 free, 2x 50 fast
300 free, 2x 50 fast
200 free, 2x 50 fast
100 free, 2x 50 fast

interlude:
200 back

second:
3x 200 IM (build each 50, finishing each strong)

c/d:
100 ez

total:
3100

The Invitation

Dear Local Friends and Extended Family,

There is, finally, no defying it: it seems that for the forseeable future, I will be living on the spur of the moment. Including having a goodbye party being thrown for me at the last minute, and being the one asked to send out the invitations! My parents are hosting an open-house-type bon voyage, this Saturday afternoon/evening starting at 4 pm; this is my last weekend in the Bay Area, and the coming week will be filled with departure logistics, so this will be my final chance to see many of you and say goodbye. For those who are able, we'd love to see you here; just bring yourselves and your families, we'll have hors d'euvors, dinner and dessert -- this is also going to be my last chance to cook properly for a very very long time!
Here's the proper invitation:

Open House Bon Voyage for Antonia
Saturday October 15th - 4 pm till we drop!
Hosts: Ron and Sally Mancini
RSVP: rsmancini@kepnet.com or 650-326-9850
Address: 915 Theresa Court, Menlo Park, CA 94025


As a background for those who have no idea what I'm talking about:

After over two years of relative uncertainty, I am about to embark on a voyage into the complete unknown. I am, as many of you know, intent on getting into a nursing program abroad, which has proven next to impossible to do from here. I feel strongly that the training I would receive is the best possible to prepare me for the humanitarian work I want to do, and I am willing to put life on hold for a time and take this leap of faith to hopefully make it happen. It will be a stressful, unpredictable time; I will not have the ability to legally work, I cannot legally stay past 6 months, my "next moves" will be dependant on whatever strides I make (or don't) with each school I visit, and I will not always know where I'm going or what I'm doing until it happens. I also don't know how easy it will be to keep in contact, what kind of schedule I'll be able to keep and therefore what free time I'll have for communication or socialization, and most importantly: when, or if, I'm coming back. Uncertainties abound. The schedule I've kept the last year and a half has made me a difficult person to know -- that's about to get exponentially more severe. But despite all of the challanges that this direction presents, and as much as there are aspects of the journey I'm not felicitously anticipating, I know the path is the right one; now all I have to do is start walking.

I hope to see you Saturday, though I know that this impulsive gathering may be coming on top of already-laid weekend plans; to all of you who I will not get to visit before I leave, hugs and warm thoughts and until we meet again :)

All the best,
Antonia

Let the Show Begin

I am now, officially, no fooling, about to embark on this adventure. Not because I sold my car, or garage sale-ed or gave away 85% of my posessions, or bought my plane ticket, or lived out of Container Store bins all summer, or talked about it and told you all I was going to for over a year. Which is all true, of course. But because while I pack away the 14% that is to stay behind, I've got Shrek playing in the background. I occasionally had Shrek going when I used to clean Brockenborings, the Montana house. I had Shrek going when I stained those *^$)#(*$ bookshelves, and when I loaded the then-brand-new-to-me Sophie at 1 in the morning to drive to Oregon for Christmas 6 days after surgery, on crutches, with my leg in an aircast. I had it running several times as I unpacked and repacked the house before I moved to California, and it was on NBC both times I packed for my European trips (England/Ireland in April, and Spain in May). And again when I moved into the church apartment, and Jen and I had it going when we painted the living room, and again when we moved to Alma Street, and again when I moved out. And that doesn't count all the times any of the kids had it going for their own reasons. It is the official "moving, rearranging, or otherwise setting-life-to-rights" background music. Because for all that, I don't think I've actually SEEN Shrek for several years, maybe even since it came out; it just runs, and I listen in occasionally, and laugh at the funny bits I happen to be in the room for (or don't have the vacuum running over). It's more for... the fact that it is now, for better or worse, a traditional part of the moving process, a constant little port in a very changable storm. Come to think of it, Shrek is probably the one constant I've had over the past few years. Imagine that: a fun, funky little movie-as-life-anchor, and for someone who hates TV!

Rolling along towards the goal of being "ready to leave" by October 12, which, if accomplished, would not only be a significant breakthrough in my ability to stick to a deadline but will allow me 2 weeks of non-rushed, non-hastled time to see family, friends, enjoy the weather and available vegan food, spend some time alone (last time for QUITE awhile more than likely as hostels are not conducive to this!), and get in some quality training in this all-but-pefect venue. Tally ho, back to the boxes.... and em, Shrek, o' course. Here is a brief photo-journal of the garage sale chapter of the moving saga...

Oh, If Only...

This is a wonderfully written bit, complete with pictures, on the LiveStrong ride that took place in Oregon a week ago; when I was in Portland I saw the sign-up forms and cursed the fates I wasn't staying longer...!

Holy Spurs On My Moments

Hooray!! I am in Portland, on the first spur-of-the-moment vacation of my life, visiting my friend Lacey. Wonderful Quena arrives tomorrow night, too! A girls’ week, and a favorite-people week, and a travel for fun week. Being around incredible, loving and happy people is a very good thing, I think I might do well to get used to it and do it more often.
The morning started out as a reprisal of last weeks theme – oversleeping, this time both me AND my dad. I nearly missed my flight by being late and then getting thoroughly unpacked in a double-security screening, but made it onto the plan just as they were swinging the door shut – only to then sit in the runway and taxi back to have a malfunctioning radio system repaired (from the pilot: “No need to worry folks, it wasn’t like it was something that would have prevented us from landing safely or flying into another plane, nothing like that, just a routine problem”…!!). As soon as I called Lacey to tell her I’d be late, I fell promptly asleep (I’d stayed up till 3:30 unpacking from house-sitting and moving and repacking for the trip), and stayed that way till we landed. Yay for unexpected maintenance and impromptu nap opportunities!
I found Lacey at PDX after a bit of wandering around in the wrong directions, and we took the MAX into downtown and walked through lovely tree-lined Park Avenue which I remembered more vividly than expected from childhood visits up here. Lacey’s charming flat is in a student housing complex, and just the perfect size; I’m reminded again how much space I’d really need to feel at home, and how much I’m looking forward to student housing of my own in the hopefully not-too-distant future! I noticed by noonish that time had slowed waaaaay down, that I was more relaxed and happy than I’d been in a long time, and just basked in that – what an incredible thing!
It was Lacey’s friend Paul’s birthday, and we decided to make a Vegan Birthday Dinner-Feast (intentional caps), complete with spice cake from a recipe that I’ve had swimming around in my head but hadn’t fleshed out all the way. In other words, experimentation, my very favorite thing to do with a kitchen! So we headed out to shop, and I got a ground-level taste of how incredibly low-key and well-laid-out Portland is. We made a brief detour into Powells (DANGER WILL ROBINSON), a stocking-up at Whole Foods, and then back to drop off groceries and walk to Lacey’s community garden plot, which is flourishing beautifully.
The feast was prepared and savored and enjoyed, and at some point i'll have to post the menu... I am just so full, not of food but of peace, love, kinship, and feeling immersed in people and surroundings I both understand and am recognized as my true self by. A new, and curious, and blessed feeling. I am looking forward to all that this week holds for us.

Where You Are

I have more or less successfully kept to a "news fast" since the fourth week of Janurary 2003. No papers, no magazines, no NPR, no CNN, no networks, no Yahoo!Ticker, nada. Yes, I do see the occasional headline, and will occasionally seek out news from basic info-based sources like the BBC, AlterNet, or Working for Change -- but the chronic news, the endless stream of overproduced, dramatized, background-noise "information" was what I wanted to turn off and leave off. And despite all the things that have happened in the world since then, nothing has convinced me to retreat. Now, with the state of things in Louisiana, and several of my EMT classmates going to join the relief effort, the fact that I'm still not plugging into the media frenzy has been called into question by some. I have (mostly) learned to keep my mouth shut when this sort of thing happens (pior instances ranging from the London bombings to the Tsunami to the death of the Pope), because if I say what I really think about how the media takes advantage of world crises to soak up ratings and how for every person affected by tragedy in the developed world there are thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of people starving to death or suffering from treatable diseases in the third world because they're not glamorous enough to be the popular "cause of the moment", I tend to piss people off and apparently paint myself as uncaring about current events.
I wonder what would happen if news were something we made, and not something done to us? If people felt generally compelled to do something more than write a check? Like, what would happen if instead of waiting for things to go wrong so we can have a bake sale, we chose to live in smaller houses, build sustainable infrastructures, do without the luxuries we take for granted like giant supermarkets and being able to drive everywhere, build communties based on interdependance so that when bad things happen there's no question of how everyone will be taken care of, take a humble slice of the world pie so that there's enough of everything for everybody? Or am I nuts?
I really like this, it showed up in my inbox back in September of '01 and then again last week; I plan on using it as a bookmark in my Paediatrics textbooks if I can ever figure out how to fight my way into school.
---

Where you are right now is a very good place to be. For you are alive, aware, and able to make a difference.
Certainly things are not perfect. You may face uncomfortable situations, painful choices and difficult challenges.
Even so, where you are right now is a good place to be. For you have the opportunity to take whatever you have and make it into a life of value, meaning and fulfillment.
You have the extreme good fortune to be right here, right now. The more you see your life as the immense opportunity that it is, the more true richness you will uncover.
There is a path that leads to the best in life that you can possibly imagine. And the starting point of that path is where you are right now.
Pause for a moment and consider your many blessings. Then move forward and fulfill all the rich promise of where you are right now.
-- Ralph Marston

Dear Sophie, Adieu

I am (sniff) selling my beloved Subaru Outback Sophie as I prepare to leave for my adventure, since I've so far been unable to find any way to shrink and bring her with me, or swim-tow her across the Atlantic (the swim is my worst tri leg, remember). She's been an awesome travel companion, and I'm a Subaru convert -- they drive like sports cars, take on any permutation of nasty weather with ease, hold up forever (my friend's is at 327,466 and still ticking!), are top rated in all 5 crash tests, and get great gas mileage -- what more could you ask for? So if you want to hop on the Subaru bandwagon or know someone who does, let me know.

Here's the craigslist posting:

http://www.craigslist.org/pen/car/95289349.html

so far (for a more melodious experience, skip this and listen to CSNY's version instead)

ok, so adding "keeping a blog" to my list of to-dos was obviously overly ambitious. but what else is new. if only they had a major in over-acheivement. and it was somehow related to humanitarian aid.

but yesterday the time came to make a few decisions. well, not the time itself, that wasn't actually available at the time. but as the decisions demanded to be made, i made some decisions anyway. and despite being a better vacant space than a friend or relative lately, many of you seem to still want to know me and know what i'm doing, so now that i finally have some answers for you, here they are, in no particular order (which has also been absent for quite awhile now):

i will be in california for september. the sports nutritionist i'm working with can only see me again for our final consult at the end of september, and i really want to work with him, so i'm going to plan on travelling on the abroad-adventure the first week of october. what this means i don't actually know. but i DO know that i don't seem to be figuring anything out from this side of the atlantic, so perhaps if i go to THAT side i'll have a better chance of finding (or tripping over) the answers i'm looking for. no idea if this will work, no idea how long i can live off my savings, no idea how to get any the stuff i'd need there and back, or where "there" is precisely beyond the general, don't really much care to dwell on anything that complicated; i have to keep things simple or i'll have a panic attack, so since i want to be there and i want to go to nursing school there and i can't seem to figure that out from america, then i'll go there. that's logical, right? i will not be working after august 26th, other than small odd jobs, just enough to cover my expenses without dipping into my savings. no kid stuff, though. i will still be selling sophie the subaru at the end of august, so no car payment, no insurance bill, no gas money. just groceries, tri gear (minimal, after the upgrade), and my cell bill. i will upgrade my tri gear (new triathlon bike being #1) with what i make in cash from sophie, and have a good base to train with here and there. september will be about training (always the big one) which has been suffering under my workload and stress levels, and about playing 1.5 years' worth of catch-up; paperwork, finances, unfinished knitting projects, garage sale-ing away 90% of what i own, going to the eye doctor... everything for myself i haven't had the time to since i moved here. including working on nursing school and other future plans. i'll compete some, though i just found out from eric that he's moving to north carolina (yay eric! you inspire me beyond the sport, taking the big blind leaps to get where you want to go is a lesson i needed along with drills and climbing out of the saddle! thanks for having faith in my ability to impove, and for making time for a newbie-wannabe!) so i'll have to find another coach for august and september... and play around with sponsorships and grants and so on, so that i can do what i want (interchangable with need/crave/lust) to do: go to school and do triathlon, period. i will get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep per night, with 8 being the goal. i will blog. i will write. i will play the fiddle i haven't played in at least 2 months. i will eat sitting down in an non-moving seat in quiet, i will eat food that takes longer than 1 minute to throw together, and i will chew it. i will take time to enjoy being here in this beautiful place, to enjoy being strong and alive. to speak to and write to and SEE the people i care about. to have time alone. to rebuild the parts of me that feel broken and over-used. to revel in easy access to tofu. and double rainbow vegan chocolate ribbon mocha almond ice cream. and rain-free world-class training venues. and redwood trees.

so far, i like all these decisions. and since lately it seems that i'm mentally reduced to only being able to focus on one moment at a time (if that), i'm going to just go with them and see what happens.

thanks for still being there. and for not giving up even when i do. it may be awhile, probably september, but i will indeed be striving to write/call/email back to everyone. cause if you can't find two minutes together to type "HI" to the people you love, what the hell is life for anyway?

namaste.

I Can Strive, Anyway

Quote of the Day:

“I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

-- Maya Angelou

Yay for Good Authors

Quote of the Day:

"There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, and liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal"

- "The Ersatz Elevator", Book the Sixth in the Series of Unfortunate Events, by Lemony Snicket

There All Along

I have discovered something that will make a lot of the craziness I've slogged through in the last few years look like an even bigger waste of time than it already did:

(queue fanfare, colored lights, majestic-sounding music, and chickens waving mylar batons)

Yahoo! Mail has a calendar feature.

I'd been waiting to get a computer and therefore MS Outlook to have a way to organize my thoughts and my life into something resembling the order I am inherently prone to but don't have the time or tools to create (for myself, anyway). And here, for the past 10+ years, I've had the option right under my nose, and a BETTER one at that: the calendar can be accessed, modfied, and shared from any computer with internet access, not only my laptop. And will send me email reminders. And is viewable by YOU, my dear friends and extended family who are always in the dark about just which window my time is being thrown out of at any given moment. Now, to keep it up...

update: calendar made invisible for
obvious, post-adventure reasons...

How True

Quote of the Day:

"Ahh... (big grin). It has such a different kind of happy taste. Water is so much fuller-making when you drink it from a smiley"

-- Patrick, age 5, on drinking from my Nalgene with a smiley-imprinted spashguard

Bay to Breakers... Sort Of

More like: 4th&King to Mission to Spear to Mission to 9th Street (Actual Race Route) to Breakers to Muni to Bay to 9th Street. Is the short version.

Long version: I took the special Bay to Breakers CalTrain, as intended, up to the city for the race. The first problem was the train ended up running 35 minutes late. With 15 minutes to race time. At approx 1.5 miles from the start line (well, the way i ended up going). With a strained hamstring (not great for sprinting like a bat out of hell to starting lines in crowds of 100,000+ people). With a queue for the bathroom. So that would be about 6 or 7 problems, actually...
Anyway, the mad dash following the bathroom break led to a series of frustrated attempts to gain access to the route. And when I finally got to the actual starting point for runners, about 4 minutes after the whistle had gone off, I found it full of... WALKERS. And (horror) JOGGING STROLLERS. And people throwing tortillas through the air like frisbees (over 1 million thrown this morning, apparently), which I still don't understand the reasoning behind, especially given that the hundreds of homeless people just a block or two outside the route might have in fact enjoyed eating those tortillas. But oh well. I was stuck, unable to move backwards or forwards, and certainly not able to run.
Eventually the crush began ooooozing in the general direction of the Pacific Ocean, with me hopping up and down and in circles, trying to keep my hamstring from seizing up. And when it dawned on me that it had indeed taken a full 20 minutes to go exactly 2 blocks, I decided that, since my goal of getting a decent time and making the top 10,000 runners was at this point a very impossible thing without a teleporter, difinative action was called for. Namely, running. Which I did. Inching out of the throng, and up Mission Street, instead of Howard with the stand-still crowd. So I had a gloriously empty first few miles (which I'd actually already run to get to where I'd just been from the train station, but oh well), being cheered on by homeless and high-fived by hookers (who might have been lost race participants...?). All well and good for the moment, but the fact that I was not running the actual course meant that I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until I'd really done the whole thing, as in, all the miles of the actual intended course. Which I did later on, but for now, back to the story.
I rejoined the course at 9th and Mission, which because I'd essentially hopped ahead was a comfortable number of people, all running. Hayes Hill was that much easier, with the extra breathing room, making it a leisurely uphill clip while enjoying a medly of disco tunes and of course the sights: various costumed runners, various naked runners, "Through the Hayes Optometry", and a group dressed as paper mache salmon with bright red eggs on their noses making their way DOWN the hill against the flow of traffic (ha ha).
The rest of the course was uneventful and lovely; cool SF weather + blocked off streets + Golden Gate Park + running = happy Antonia. The hamstring held, and I arrived at the Great Highway and the Breakers feeling like I could have done the distance double (which is good, as I have a half marathon in three weeks...). After dipping my shoes in the Pacific, a water break, t-shirt collection, and a free bread clip from sponsor Oroweat, I took the Muni Bay to Breakers Express (which took as long as it would have taken me to crawl the distance upside-down with taffy on my hands) back to the starting point and, you guessed it, ran out to the Bay at Embarcadero, dipped my shoes in, and ran up Howard to 9th Street, the leg I'd mirrored earlier.
And now I've done the Bay to Breakers. Which means I don't EVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN. Give me a nice old-fashioned 5000 participant half-Ironman triathlon, thank you very much.

P.S. If none of this makes any sense whatsoever to you, either I must appologize for being a bad writer (which I do) or I will provide the website to the Bay to Breakers so that you can read up on what I'm talking about if you're unfamiliar with the event: www.baytobreakers.com

A Question of Slinkys and Goats

Regarding the question (see full profile) of well-escapage with the tools provided (goat + slinky):
Way #1 - Unfortunately I can't kill the goat, as I'm a vegan, but assuming I was able to outlast the goat and it died of natural causes, and assuming the slinky was metal, I would break off a sharp piece of the slinky, gut the goat, build a ladder out of tendons and bones, and climb out.
Way #2 - The goat being no use at all when alive, I would ignore the goat, break the (assuming) metal slinky into four pieces, put the pieces over my hands and feet, and (assuming a well width conducive to this method) climb up the well spread-eagle style, using the slinky bits as crampon-like traction-giving devices.

Hello World

I am here, wherever here is, which in fact, to be precise, is not here, as I am not where I normally am, wherever that is.